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How to stop people moaning

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Today, it’s lucky that I only had about 3 hours of work that I HAD to get done, because I made a breakthrough in something I’ve been struggling with for years, and I needed to strike whilst the iron is hot.

If you follow me on social media, you’ll know that my broadband is terrible. It is my second favourite topic to tweet about after L&D. I have complained, privately and publicly to anyone and everyone for about the last 5 years. My complaints have been ignored, or politely dismissed. Sometimes I’ve managed to get as far as an email exchange but things soon dwindle from their end.

But today an actual person took interest. She gave me her direct contact details and asked me to call.

  • She LISTENED to my frustrations
  • She ASKED what I’d done so far, and about my circumstances
  • She set me a clear ACTION POINT.

Which I put into place immediately!!!

The terrible nature of my broadband has been a bug bear for years. It is largely outside of my control. However, what this lady was able to do was help me to find something that was WITHIN my circle of control, and challenged me to do it. If I complete the task she set me, she will then take the next step. She put the ball in my court, but has indicated she’s in the game with me.

I’ve always been a massive fan of Steven Covey’s Circle of Concern Model – it genuinely changed my life, and reduced my stress levels considerably, and she just put something within my Circle of Control.

It made me wonder about how many people moan about things at work? Does anything ever get done as a result of these moans, or do the moans just gradually suck the life force out of the people who work there, and so the business itself?

It’s true that we sometimes moan about stuff that doesn’t REALLY matter. Sometimes a moan is cry for attention. Sometimes it’s a genuine frustration. Regardless of the seriousness of the moan, following these 3 steps can help eradicate them…

If we LISTEN, and if the moan is something that doesn’t really matter, just the fact that we have been listened to may well be enough. If it isn’t, ASKING shows that you value the persons’ feelings and can again either stop the moan there OR become the first step in solving a problem. Often, like me, people feel frustrated and powerless. They actually WANT to solve the problem and are willing to take action and put the effort in, but they feel that it’s out of their hands. If they are empowered to solve the problem, they will. All they need is for someone to help them to see alternatives, expand their circle of control and hold them accountable.

My bite size training module on Empowering Leadership touches on this as well as other useful tools.

 

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